Stay
by DragonWyrd
Summary: Two people fall in love and hope for a life together, until it's shattered by an unknown enemy, cutting off one life and possibly destroying another who thinks his love is dead... or is she?
1. Prologue  Memories

Nerves fluttered low in his belly as he approached the Normandy. Not only had he been chosen to serve on the prototype's maiden voyage, but he was going to be serving under the famed Commander Shepard, hero of the Skyllian Blitz and recipient of the Star of Terra. While confident in his skills, the worry that he might do something to embarrass himself constantly nagged at the back of his mind. Sighing, he hefted his duffel and prepared to make his way to the hatch, stopping as a turian brushed past him toward the ship.

"Well, that's interesting…" a soft, musical voice stated from beside him. He looked down into the prettiest sea green eyes he'd ever seen, reminding him of the waters near his parent's cabin in Vancouver when the sun hit them just right. They were set into a small, heart-shaped face, almost elfin in its delicateness. The tight ponytail on top of her head, hair of the deepest ruby with curls that would hug his finger he was sure, accentuated the bone structure of her face instead of making the style seem too severe, complimenting a curvy and petite body. He was taken aback a bit at how short the woman was who stood beside him, not quite hitting his shoulder in height. Truly a pixie in human form.

"Hello, is anyone home?" the woman chuckled. He blinked and shook his head, his cheeks flushing a dull red in his olive toned skin.

"My apologies, ma'am. What was interesting?" he replied, as soon as he was sure he had his voice, the woman already tugging at his heartstrings.

"I wasn't aware we were bringing a turian along on our run. I wonder who he is and why he's here," she said, that soft lilt in her voice catching him again.

"Perhaps the Council assigned him? They did invest in the Normandy's construction."

"Hmm, makes sense. We'll learn more inside, I'm sure. Who are you, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, ma'am. You?"

"Kailan will do for now," she grinned up at him. "See you inside."

He watched as she walked away from him in a ground-eating stride, surprised at how much distance she covered in such a small amount of time. He took a moment to appreciate the way her armor hugged her figure then mentally chastised himself for having such thoughts of someone he would be working alongside. Even so, perhaps Joker might have an idea of who the woman was. He had heard the pilot was assigned to the ship and he knew the man liked to stick his nose into everything. It was a good place to start, if he had a chance to ask before they set out.

###

Kailan made her way through the CIC toward the bridge, wanting to get a closer look at the turian Spectre. She had heard he was up front monitoring the ship as it progressed through the relay and decided to let her curiosity take hold. Her mind was working furiously as she tried to figure out why a Spectre would be on board, unless there was more to the mission than what Captain Anderson had briefed her on.

"The board is green. Approach run has begun. Hitting the relay in 3… 2… 1…" she heard from the pilot's seat as she approached and braced herself for the usual g-force that hit whenever a ship passed through one of the relays. Pleasantly surprised that this new construction dampened the pressure, she continued on, gently laying a hand on one of the crew when he began to back into her path. Giving him a smile, she entered the bridge, her eyes catching not only on the turian in the corner, but the man from earlier who had made her heart flutter.

"Thrusters… check. Navigation… check. Internal emissions sink engaged. All systems online. Drift… just under 1500k," Joker stated from his seat.

"1500 is good. Your captain will be pleased," Nihlus stated from his stance in the corner, before turning and bowing slightly to Kailan as he exited toward the CIC.

"I hate that guy," Joker muttered.

"Nihlus gave you a compliment… so you hate him?" Kaidan asked, his brow raising as he looked over at the pilot.

"You remember to zip up your jumpsuit on the way out of the bathroom? That's good. I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pinhead. So that's incredible! Besides, Spectres are trouble. I don't like having him on board. Call me paranoid," Joker smirked then sighed.

"You're paranoid. Besides, the Council helped fund this project so they have a right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment," Kaidan retorted.

"Yeah, that's the official story. Only an idiot believes the official story," Joker snickered. Kaidan rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, catching a glimpse of red in his peripheral vision. Turning his head he stared as the red-head from earlier stood behind Joker's seat. His heart caught in his throat and he quickly returned to keeping an eye on the tech console so he wouldn't be caught staring.

"They don't send Spectres on shakedown runs," she said, her tone soft yet firm.

"See, there's more here than the Captain is letting on," Joker sighed.

"Joker! Status report!" Anderson barked out of the comm.

"Just cleared the mass relay, Captain. Stealth systems engaged. Everything looks solid."

"Good. Find a comm. buoy and link us into the network. I want mission reports relayed back to Alliance brass before we reach Eden Prime."

"Aye, aye, Captain. Better brace yourself, sir. I think Nihlus is headed your way," Joker said.

"He's already here, Lieutenant. Tell Commander Shepard to meet me in the comm. room for a debriefing," Anderson snapped.

"You get that Commander?"

Kaidan's eyes widened as he realized that this woman, the one he'd been mooning over since he had first seen her, was Commander Shepard. He felt himself deflate a little at the knowledge, perking up only slightly when he saw her grin in his direction as if hearing his thoughts.

"He sounds angry. I'm guessing something has gone wrong with the mission," Kailan murmured, continuing to hold Kaidan's gaze.

"He always sounds like that when talking to me," Joker muttered.

"I can't imagine why," Kaidan smirked.

Kailan shook her head and laughed.

"Be nice, you two. I'll catch you later after I see what Captain Anderson has to speak to me about."

Grinning, she left the bridge and headed down the catwalk toward the CIC and ready room, Kaidan's eyes following her departure.

"Keep staring at her like that and she's liable to pluck your eyeballs out. I've heard she's had problems in the past with men not leaving her alone, either because of her hero status or looks. Might want to keep that in mind," Joker chuckled, his eyes still fixated on the screens in front of him.

"I wasn't staring," Kaidan muttered.

"Yeah and I'm the Queen of Scotland," Joker snickered.

"Shut up."

The pilot grinned and continued to monitor the console, sneaking looks at the red-faced Staff Lieutenant sitting beside him.

###

Kaidan approached her slowly as he took in her slumped shoulders, wincing as she added a lot of Irish to her coffee. They all had a lot of weight on their shoulders after the events of Therum, Noveria, and Feros and what she had just dealt with earlier in the day seemed to have added more to her already heavy burden. For her sake, he was grateful that the majority of the crew was still on the Citadel enjoying their shore leave, brief as it might be.

"Commander…" he began.

"Kaidan, I thought we were past th' need for titles, or have I misread th' growing closeness between th' two of us?" she asked, her voice tired, her accent much thicker due to stress, alcohol, or both.

"Kailan… are you all right? I'm not exactly sure what happened earlier outside of Chora's, but if you need to talk…"

Her laugh was lacking its usual mirth, her sea-green eyes ice cold in their beauty as she looked up at him and waved him over to the empty chair across from her in the mess.

"Mainly it was my past tryin' to bite me in the arse and failin' horribly," she muttered, taking a large gulp of her coffee.

"I still… I can't believe you killed a man in cold blood!"

"He's not th' first, won't be th' last… and even though th' Alliance is well aware of my past, Alain wouldn't have hesitated t' make sure th' rest o' the universe was well aware of what their precious 'Commander Shepard' used t' be. Besides, it's one more thug off th' streets," she sighed.

"Talk to me?" he asked, reaching across the table to take one of her hands. She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, the ice fading from her eyes to be replaced with resignation.

"Mam passed away when I was a wee one, about 10 years old. No matter what th' doctors tried, th' treatments given, she was plagued by tumors from massive exposure to eezo. I don't know if what she said was truth or not, that my da was some Alliance big shot whom she met one of the times he was on leave. Then again she was pretty high on some strong pain blockers near th' end… either way, cuz mam was an orphan herself and she wouldn't tell anyone who my da was, I was dumped into th' system when she died. I started t' run with th' wrong sort, bein' an idiot while grievin'. Dropped off the radar 'n became a full Westie when I was fourteen…"

"Aren't they one of the nastier gangs that run around Dublin?" Kaidan interrupted, her accent now finally making sense after months of serving together.

"Aye, that they are. They taught me how t' use a pistol and machine gun. One o' them even taught me how t' wield a sniper rifle. I learned how t' twist my biotics in ways th' military doesn't even know about. I was their ace in th' hole, their secret weapon, cuz no one would else would take someone so small too seriously. I enjoyed it. I reveled in bein' able t' kill a man with a single snap o' my hand, dealin' out punishment t' those stupid enough t' try 'n take our Red Sand business, or step into our tech market. I became a monster, Kaidan. I looked for a fight whenever I could - it was a drug t' me. I don't know exactly what it was, maybe turnin' eighteen was th' turnin' point, but I began to realize what I was. I knew I had t' make it right somehow, so I basically flipped 'em th' bird and enlisted, needin' to do somethin' good for a change with what I had been taught."

She stared down at the table, a tear leaking out of the corner of one eye, and started to remove her hand from his, stopped by the tightening of his own around hers.

"Sometimes I still feel like that monster…"

"You're not a monster, Kailan. So you did some nasty shit as a kid, but think of how much good you've done. You did what you set out to do and that was to help others with your abilities. You didn't let your past cripple or hinder you like I did with mine. I wouldn't follow you if I didn't believe in you and what we're doing."

Her eyes slowly raised from the table to his, startled and humbled by the trust and compassion in his.

"I… thank you, Kaidan," she said, her smile shy. Standing, she picked up her coffee mug and dumped the contents into the sink. As she walked past him toward her cabin, she stopped to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Your acceptance means more t' me than you could possibly know," she whispered before disappearing around the corner. He sat there, his hand rubbing lightly where her lips had touched, a small smile curving his lips.

###

The ship was silent enough that he could hear his footsteps echo around him as he exited the med-bay. He looked over at Joker as the pilot slowly made his way to the sleep pods, the latter stopping as he saw Kaidan.

"She's taking it really hard," Joker murmured, looking behind him toward the Commander's cabin then back at the Lieutenant, his eyes hardening.

"Why the hell did you have to yell at her anyway? She didn't deserve that! You think it was easy for her to leave a friend back there, knowing that they were going to die? Ashley was the closest thing she ever had to a fucking sister and you just had to hit her between the eyes with your own shit for leaving her behind. I don't know what she sees in you, I really don't," the pilot snarled as he moved past Alenko to the pods.

"Shit," Kaidan muttered under his breath, his heart plummeting to his feet as he walked over to her cabin. The doors slid open as he approached and he saw her huddled up on the floor in front of a picture of their lost comrade, her knees hugged to her chest as she rocked back and forth.

_"May the road rise to meet you,  
>May the wind be always at your back.<br>May the sun shine warm upon your face.  
>May the rain fall softly upon your fields until we meet again,<br>And may God hold you in the hollow of his hand."_

Her voice was thick with tears as she voiced the old Gaelic farewell poem. His footsteps were silent on the carpet as he entered the room, slowing the closer he got to her.

"I'm going to miss her so much, Kaidan," she whispered, her focus still on the photo in front of her. He knelt behind her and tentatively began to put his arms around her. She turned and buried her face in his shoulder, finally letting the force of her grief take over, her small body quaking so hard he was afraid she'd hurt herself. Tightening his hold, he rested his cheek on the top of her head.

"I'm sorry for earlier. I was such an idiot," he said moments later after she had calmed from her storm of tears.

"You needed an outlet and I was the most convenient. No hard feelings, Kaidan," she sniffled, her body relaxing against his.

"That bastard is going to pay for what he's done," Kaidan promised.

"And I'm going to make sure it's a painful ending," she agreed.

###

Kaidan paced back and forth in front of Kailan's cabin as they waited for the green light to pull out of the Citadel. Frustration tugged at every nerve, not only due to the danger Anderson was putting himself into by sneaking into Udina's office just to remove the locks on the ship, but from the almost-kiss earlier. He could still feel the softness of her breath against his lips as their mouths had been a hairs-breadth apart before Joker had interrupted them. He was sure the pilot had done it on purpose, coming up with ways to aggravate him due to his initial treatment of Kailan after Virmire. He grinned as he felt the vibration of the engines powering up and the familiar sound of Shepard's footsteps as she raced down the stairs while they sped out of the dock.

"Twenty-two hours to the Mu Relay so a lot of time to kill. Thank God we have Anderson on our side," she sighed, though her eyes were lit up and sparkling.

"Got a moment?" he asked.

"I'm free until we hit the relay. Mind if we talk in my cabin? I want to do a weapons check and make sure I'm battle ready when the time comes."

Following her inside, he rested his hands on her shoulders the moment she stopped and began to tremble.

"If we make it through this… I'm in so much damned trouble…" her voice wavered.

"Commander…"

"A title I'll hold only until after the court martial I'm sure. Theft of a classified Alliance prototype vessel, mutiny, and probably even kidnapping of the crew. Yeah, I'm a prize for the Alliance," the tremble in her voice grew, as did the tension and strain in her body.

"You're doing it for all the right reasons. You know that Joker and I will be standing right beside you if they're idiotic enough to try it."

"Thanks… Oh God I'm so scared, Kaidan. What if I screw up and we end up failing?" she turned to look up at him, wide eyed.

"You won't screw up. You might have us kissing the floorboards of the Mako with your driving, but you won't screw up. You're too strong willed and determined to let us fail."

"Stubborn as an ass, you mean," her lips quirked slightly.

"I was trying to be nice about it…" he grinned.

"I'm so glad you're here with me right now," she whispered, her gaze fixing on his, her hand reaching up to touch his cheek.

"What is this between us, Kailan? What is it exactly that you're looking for? This doesn't feel like battlefield flirting, Shepard, and there are regs against fraternization. Then again, I'm sure that'll be low on their list of concerns once we get back from Ilos."

"Damn the regs! I'm… I'm in love with you Kaidan. I want… I need to be with you," her eyes showed the vulnerability she was feeling, the vulnerability she only ever let him see. His breath caught in his throat as he looked down at her, his hands coming up to cup her face between his palms.

"We still need to be careful. I don't want to mess up what we have with this crew… but this, us, we're what's important right now. We might not have this chance again and the thought of losing you… it tears me up inside. You mean so much to me… I love you too," his voice ended in a whisper as he leaned down to graze his lips against hers, feeling as though he were coming home as their bodies pressed together.

###

Images of their first night together, along with other shared moments, buzzed through his brain as the escape pod sped away from the disintegrating Normandy, his heart in his throat knowing that he had left her behind. Sometimes it was hell being a good little Marine, but all he could do was hope and pray that she pulled a Shepard and did the impossible, getting both her and Joker to safety.

"I know I don't talk to you much but please, God, keep her safe," he whispered as the shuttled hurtled toward Alchera.


	2. She's Gone

"Kaidan!" she sobbed, struggling to clamp her hands over the compromised seals of her suit, his face the last image in her mind as her vision began to grey at the edges before going dark.

###

Chaos. Everything was pure chaos. The fifteen hour wait for their call to be answered felt like fifteen years. Fastening his enviro-suit, the others in the pod following his direction, he released the seal and tentatively stepped out into the hostile environment of Alchera. The ammonia based atmosphere and freezing tempurature was made worse by the constant debris filtering through the planet's atmosphere to land a few clicks north of their present location. Shouts of distress, his among them, rang out among the others who had begun to leave the pods, as the very recognizable cockpit of the Normandy rattled the ground as it hit with force. The feel of a gentle hand on his shoulder made him turn his head and look down at the woman beside him, Dr. Chakwas' compassionate gaze looking back at him through her visor.

"Remember, Lieutenant, that was just part of the ship. It doesn't mean anything. We've survived so there's always a chance she made it out as well."

"You're right, Dr. Chakwas. It's just… it's just so damned difficult not to think the worst until I actually see her walking toward me."

"I know," she gave him a light pat then turned toward the others. It was luck that had two of the pods land near each other though his eyes constantly scanned the horizon for clues to where the others might have ended up. He dismissed the idea forming in his mind to go searching for the others, knowing that there was no guarantee that they'd find their way back - the pods being their only mode of shelter - and each had their own homing beacon which would aid the Alliance in locating the rest. He sank down into the snow, resting his body against the pod, the beginnings of a migraine dulling the edges of his vision.

###

Admiral Hackett stared at what was left of the Normandy, his hands clasped behind his back and his head slightly bowed.

"Sir, we're receiving signals from a number of homing beacons on Alchera. It seems as though they were able to reach the escape pods before whatever did this to them destroyed the ship," the pilot beside him stated.

"I want all available ships to send down their Kodiak units. Those poor bastards have waited long enough. We'll rendezvous at Arcturus."

"Aye, aye, sir!"

Hackett turned on his heel in sharp military precision then marched past the crew toward his cabin. Once there, he opened up a private comm. channel to Councilor Anderson's office.

"Anderson," the man on the other end answered.

"Councilor. It's Hackett."

"Good evening, sir. What may I do for… you…" his voice trailed off as he caught the look on the Admiral's face.

"The Normandy is lost. She began emitting a distress call just over fifteen hours ago. We were the first to arrive and found nothing left but debris," his voice and eyes were distant as he watched his old friend.

"Gone? How? Shepard? The crew?" Anderson asked, sinking down into his chair, his head lowering into his hands.

"Homing beacons were found on Alchera just below us. We have sent out the Kodiaks to pick up the remaining survivors. I don't know who all survived as of yet. As far as how, all I could get from the static-filled transmission Joker sent was that it was done by some unknown vessel."

"If Joker didn't recognize it, then we have another unknown enemy on the horizon. Damnit!" Anderson's hand slammed down on the surface of his desk.

"I'll keep you updated as I learn more. Once we have all survivors on board the ships, we will be returning to Arcturus. Hackett out."

Anderson stared at the console for a few minutes after the screen went dark, the pit of his stomach rolling as dread pooled in its center.

###

Kaidan's glance darted around the crowd of what was left of the Normandy's crew, looking for Kailan's familiar face or at least a glimpse of her hair. Catching sight of Joker slumped down in a chair, he slowed down as he took in the man's slumped shoulders and the way he hid his face in his hands.

"Joker."

"Shit," the pilot sighed.

"Where is she?"

His heart thudded painfully as Joker let out a moan of pain followed by a choked sob.

"Where. Is. She?" he demanded.

"S-Somewhere floating around with the wreckage…"

"What?" Kaidan knelt down and grabbed Joker tight by the shoulders.

"She got me into the pod. Was about to climb in herself when we got hit again. Blast knocked her out of the compartment. She tried to hold on but the ship bucked as more shit flew apart. Had just enough grip left to hit the closing mechanism on the door and eject the pod before she slipped away…"

"You mean… she's… Why didn't you try to grab her?" Kaidan snarled, picking up and slamming the man back against a stack of boxes in the shipyard. His face was a mask of fury as he looked at Joker.

"I tried… damnit I tried! She was my best-damned friend on that ship. Meant just as much to me as the Normandy herself. Don't you think I don't realize that if I weren't such a fucking gimp I could have saved the Commander instead of watching her float away from me before the damned hatch closed?" Joker's eyes were deep and dark with remorse, the usual laugh lines drawn tight by grief.

"Shit, I'm sorry Joker…" Kaidan slumped down on the ground beside the pilot.

"I can't believe she's gone…" Joker sniffled.

"I wish I had disobeyed and gone with her to help."

"Then I'd have the both of you on my conscience. One is enough, thanks," Joker choked out, tugging the brim of his cap down far enough to hide his tear reddened face.

###

The photo in his hands was one of a young Marine cadet, all smiles, on the day of her graduation. She had already been deep in her N7 training at that point, but they had allowed her a day off to attend with her fellow classmates and the joy in the sea-green eyes peering out at him was almost tangible. The frame trembled as Hackett set it back down on his desk. Some of his friends and colleagues constantly teased him that he took an almost fatherly interest in the young Spectre even though he was harder and tougher on her than anyone else.

The time had never been right to tell her. He had already begun rising quickly within the ranks when he'd met her mother on shore leave. He'd slowly fallen in love with Catriona Shepard over the course of their time together, the notes they'd sent back and forth strengthening that bond until one day she had just disappeared. It wasn't until he had tried to visit during his next shore leave that he had learned the truth - her parents had kicked her out of their home the moment they had learned of her pregnancy. Granted, they had been quite embarrassed when they realized that he had no idea of her condition and that he was a respectable officer in the Navy, having already attained the rank of Rear Admiral. He had spent years looking for the young woman, though his search finally ended when he came across her death certificate. Catriona's parents had died a few years prior from a boating accident, leaving his daughter alone and shuffled off into the child welfare system when Catriona, herself, had passed. Kailan's records had been sealed off to him, even with his rank, due to the fact that he had never been listed on her birth certificate. It wasn't until one day, when he had been brought in and introduced to yet another new class of cadets, that a young woman with Catriona's face and his hair, before he had gone grey, looked back at him. Calling on an old friend in the medical field, he had both his and the young woman's blood tested, proving his suspicions correct. She was his and she didn't even know it. Now it was too late to tell her.

###

The day of her memorial service dawned bright and sunny - quite the opposite of Kaidan's mood. It took every effort to pull himself out of bed. He'd spent another night dreaming of her, the images of their last battle with Saren and the destruction of the Normandy so intertwined that he almost expected her to pop into his room any moment. Her eyes would be sparkling, the curls in her hair bouncing with every movement she made, her personality way too chipper for the early hour and the hell they'd been through during the months they'd spent trying to save the universe.

"_C'mon, Kaidan, there's so much left to do before we can go on shore leave! Get up you lazy ass_," he could almost hear her chuckle, the ghostly touch of her fingers on his hands as she would try to pull him to his feet. Tears pooled at the corners of his eyes and a sob caught in the back of his throat.

"I miss you so much, Kailan. You weren't supposed to die but do the impossible as always," he whispered into the empty room. "We were going to bite the bullet and confess to Admiral Hackett about our relationship…" he choked out, a tear sliding down his cheek.

"One I'm already very well aware of, son," Hackett stated from the open door of Kaidan's room.

"How?" he asked, not moving a muscle as he continued to sit on the edge of the bed, elbows planted on his knees as his head lay in his hands.

"No matter how discreet or well meaning two people can be to make sure nothing affects the crew, there's always scuttlebutt. From what I gathered, it helped to bolster the morale of the crew, seeing two people so happy while on such a stressful mission. Also, I kept a close eye on the Normandy and its inhabitants for certain reasons."

"Understood, sir. It was a prototype vessel and I'm sure we were under quite a bit of scrutiny as it was," Kaidan sighed softly.

"That was part of the reason. Kailan was my daughter, Lieutenant," Hackett said quietly.

Kaidan's head shot up and he looked at the older man. An awkward silence hung in the room.

"She never told me…"

"She never knew. I tried to find her and her mother for years. When Catriona passed away, I tried everything possible to learn what had happened to her daughter and came up empty. I first laid eyes on her when she was a cadet, but by then how do you tell someone that you're their father? I just kept putting it off and now…" Hackett's eyes were haunted as he looked over at Kaidan.

"I'm telling you this because I know how she felt about you, to let you know that you're not alone in your grief. I do ask, however, that you keep this between us. Only one other person is aware of my relationship with Shepard and that is your old Captain, Anderson."

"Understood, sir. Thank you for honoring me with your trust, Admiral."

"I suggest you get yourself ready, Lieutenant. We have a service to attend," Hackett seemed to have aged ten years as he left the room, leaving Kaidan alone with his thoughts.

###

"I hate funeral services. I hate the sound of guns saluting, I hate the sound of Taps… it's worse when it's someone you were close to," Joker muttered, his voice hoarse, as the rest of the crowd filtered out of the Arcturus Station chapel.

"Yeah…" Kaidan sighed, his eyes unable to move from the large holo of Kailan standing straight and tall in her dress blues. Joker stood beside him, sagging against his crutches, as he stared at the image of the woman who had sacrificed herself to save him. The two men finally left when the holo was shut off, the sound of their footsteps echoing hollowly in the vast chamber.


	3. Promotion

The past six months had been pure hell. Tali had gone back to the Flotilla, Garrus was trying to fit back into his old role at C-Sec, and Wrex had returned to Tuchanka. The attack on the Citadel was now being touted as having been orchestrated by Saren and his geth instead of what it had truly been - a Reaper. Liara had just disappeared which was fine with Kaidan as the woman had continued to have, in his mind, an unhealthy fascination with Kailan. Joker, for reasons unknown to him or anyone else other than the top brass, had been grounded. He'd been plagued by dreams and nightmares, some of which had left him hard and reaching toward the empty space next to him in the bed, others had left him drenched with sweat and mouth open on a silent scream. His migraines had been getting worse as well which is the only reason he'd been placed on temporary leave. The last one had left him unable to function in the middle of a tense mission and it was deemed safer to keep him off the duty roster until he was able to get them under control. He wished he could see Dr. Chakwas, speak with her and let her use her magical touch where his headaches were concerned, but she'd been assigned to a medical facility on Mars.

The worst part was that no matter where he went, _she_was always there, and not just in his heart. Everywhere he turned, every recruitment advertisement the Alliance had sponsored, she stared into his eyes and he could picture every moment she had done the exact same thing during their fight against Saren. Perhaps using her as their poster girl had netted the results they were looking for as their advertisements had changed within the past week. Even so, he couldn't walk past an ad tube without cringing, expecting to see her and hear her voice telling others that if she could do her part for the Systems Alliance, so could they.

"Want another?" the bartender across from him asked, motioning toward Kaidan's empty glass. Nodding, the turian refilled it with some purple liquid then set about serving the man who decided to take a seat beside him.

"Trying to numb the pain too, huh?" Joker asked after slamming down the shot he was served.

"Nothing seems to work. It's been six months and I still expect to see her walking toward me, or feeling a hand shaking my shoulder and telling me to wake up, that it's all been a bad dream," he sighed.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Worst part is that I heard the ground team they sent down did only a quick search of the area and gave up. Man, if they'd sent me, you, or any of us, we'd have torn that fucking place apart trying to find her. It's hard to swallow, even seeing what happened to her myself, that she's dead without having a body to prove it, y'know?"

Kaidan emptied the shot, motioning to the bartender for another, and nodded to the pilot beside him. Sighing, he laid his head in his hands and stared down at the counter, the imitation wood gleaming enough to mirror his face back to him. He'd lost weight and his skin had taken on a slightly grey cast. His cheekbones were more pronounced and his eyes seemed to have lost their usual warmth.

"She'd kick our asses if she knew we were doing this, but right now I just can't seem to care because she isn't here to shape us up," he murmured.

"Probably threaten to toss us out the nearest airlock," Joker agreed.

"That was one of the few times I ever saw her truly angry, when she told a crew mate that if they didn't quit harassing the non-humans on board, they were going to find themselves going ass first out the airlock," Kaidan remarked.

"Yeah, she was big on that, making sure that everyone was treated fairly and as an equal. She overheard someone talking shit about me and my Vrolik's when I was heading down to see Chakwas, and damn did she rip them a new one. Said something about how my condition didn't make me any less of a person and she was damned sure that if they tried to do my job, we wouldn't make it past the first mass effect relay. Shut the person up real quick."

"See, and that's what I loved about her. She wore the rank of Commander and Spectre so easily but she didn't shove it in anyone's face unless she absolutely had to. Otherwise she roamed the ship and turned the crew into a family… a family that would kill the first person who tried to harm one of their own," Kaidan whispered, staring into another glass of purple alcohol. Pushing it away from him, he stood, albeit a bit wobbly, and looked down at his friend.

"I'll see you later, Joker. Try not to get too drunk. Don't want you to end up harming yourself because you're too soused to get home safely."

" 'S why I have the bartender grab me a cab, but you're right. Should probably stop now while I'm ahead," the other man said, carefully removing himself from the stool and following Kaidan out of the bar.

###

By the time the cab had dropped him back off at his apartment, his metabolism had pretty much eaten away at the buzz he'd had going on. While he enjoyed the ability to pretty much be able to eat more than the average person and still stay slim, the downside to being a biotic was that no matter how hard he tried to get drunk, to drown himself from the memories, it never lasted long. His gaze flicked over to the message center, noticing that he had something waiting for him. Walking over to the console, he brought up the message, and stared at the short missive.

_Lieutenant Alenko,_

I would like to see you in my office at 0700 tomorrow morning.

Admiral Hackett

Dread settled uneasily in his gut as he wondered if, due to his migraines and more time spent on leave than on duty, he was about to be medically discharged from the service. Glancing down at his watch he realized that it was already half past midnight. Sighing, he locked down the apartment and shut off the lights, hurrying to his room as he stripped down, hoping to get at least a few hours of shut-eye before he had to leave.

###

Standing at parade rest, his hands clasped loosely behind his back, Kaidan looked across the desk to the man sitting behind it. Admiral Hackett flipped between a datapad and a small stack of paperwork in front of him for a few moments before looking up at the young man.

"Lieutenant Alenko, please have a seat. You're probably wondering why I asked you to meet with me today," Hackett stated, waving his hand to one of the chairs across from him.

"Yes, sir," he answered cautiously as he sat.

"I'm sure you're aware that out of the last six months, you've spent three of them on leave, whether it was personal or medical."

"Yes, sir," Kaidan responded, a knot forming in his throat.

"Reports indicate that your migraines are lessening in their frequency. With that in mind, do you feel as though you can return to duty?"

"Yes, sir," he replied, wincing at how he was starting to sound like a broken record.

"I'm glad to hear it. Tomorrow morning at 0530 you are to report in to begin N7 training," Hackett stated, his gaze returning to the datapad in front of him. Kaidan stared at the older man, his mind whirling at what he had just heard. Both men turned their heads toward the door at the sound of a throat clearing.

"Admiral," Anderson nodded to Hackett as he entered the room. "Staff Commander Alenko," he continued, his eyes boring into the younger man's.

"I… what?" Kaidan stared at his old Captain.

"We hadn't gotten to that part, yet, Councilor Anderson," Hackett said, leaning back in his chair, watching the emotions flickering across Alenko's face.

"I'm sorry, sirs, but I don't understand…" Kaidan looked between the two.

"You did the Alliance a great service, young man, and we agreed that this was well earned. Your promotion came highly recommended," Hackett answered, picking up the datapad and handing it to Alenko. Kaidan took it, his eyes scanning the report in front of him.

_Admiral Hackett,_

_As we near what I hope is the end of this mission to stop Saren Arturius and his geth from finding this Conduit that he seeks, I feel as if I have an apology to make as well as a recommendation if you trust my word enough to follow through with it._

_Firstly, I am aware of the situation I've put myself and the rest of my crew in by removing the Normandy from Citadel space. I respectfully request that, if any action be taken, it be focused on me as I am the commander of this vessel and the others were working solely under my orders._

_Secondly, I would like to recommend that Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko be considered for a promotion. He has been an invaluable asset to this crew from the moment we set off on the shake-down run so long ago. His ability to manipulate tech has saved us on numerous occasions. He has proven himself both able and willing to work with any and all personalities, observant of those around him, with a tactical mind that has, at times, rivaled my own. His knowledge of military and political protocols has been a lifesaver, as well as his ability to stay calm and collected even in hostile situations. There is much more I could add to this but I hope I've made my point. Also, if it is at all possible, I would like to see the same happen for Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. I understand that it was due to her father's history that she was held back and given assignments far below her ability level. She proved herself to me along the way, going so far as to give her life on Virmire, allowing the Normandy crew as well as the Salarian Special Tasks Group the chance to get to safety._

_Respectfully,_

_Commander Kailan Shepard_

Kaidan fought to keep his composure as he read the report, the only betrayal to what he was feeling being the tremor of his hand as he handed the datapad back to Hackett.

"Please stand, Staff Commander Alenko," Anderson said, his voice gentle. Kaidan complied, watching the Councilor as he stepped up to him, removing his Lieutenant bars from his uniform. He stood still as they were replaced by those signifying his new rank.

"What about Chief Williams, sirs?" he asked, the moment Anderson had finished.

"We visited her family last week, honoring her posthumously. We would have preferred having a ceremony, but with the Council and the majority of the Alliance sweeping the entire situation with Saren and Sovereign under the rug, we decided it was in everyone's best interest to keep it quiet," Anderson answered.

"I understand."

"The Councilor and I have a few things to discuss. Remember, Commander Alenko, to report in for training at 0530 tomorrow morning. You are dismissed."

Standing, Kaidan gave a crisp salute to both men then exited the room.

"Are you sure he's ready for this, Hackett?" Anderson asked, his eyes glued to the door that Kaidan had just exited.

"I think, given the right motivation, he'll excel. Letting him read her recommendation was a part of that," the Admiral replied, removing his hat and running his fingers through his short grey hair, a sigh escaping his lips. "I've been where he is and understand what he's going through. Even though I hadn't seen her for a good ten years, I fell apart when I learned of Catriona's death. I'm still trying to deal with Kailan's myself."

"So am I," Anderson murmured, leaning back in the chair he had taken after Kaidan had vacated it.

"If only she were here to help us figure out why these ships keep going missing. Now we're learning of small colonies on the edge of the Terminus Systems that are disappearing as well. My hope is, with the correct training, Alenko can pick up where she left off."

"I saw a marked difference between the man he had been prior to serving on the Normandy and the man he is now. He has come into his abilities and isn't against using them as he once was," Anderson commented. "I just hope this new path will help him work through his grief and come into his own."

"My thoughts exactly," Hackett nodded. With that said, both men sat down to discuss business, unaware of the man who slowly crept away from the open doorway and down the hall. While he knew that he had risked being caught, Kaidan was glad he had stayed behind to listen to the conversation that sprung up the moment he had left the office. His step was more assured, his posture straighter, as he left the office and drove back home.

###

Artificial night swept across the Citadel, the only light within Kaidan's apartment coming from the outside lamps. The man in question sat in one of the chairs within the large expanse of his living room. It was tastefully decorated, the furniture of a modern design, but not cold and uninviting. There was minimal artwork on the walls, the most eye-catching piece being a photo Kaidan had taken of him and Kailan during the two-day leave they'd had in between saving the Citadel and touring the Terminus Systems for clues as to the missing ships. Even with all the destruction around them, those two days had been filled with happiness. One of the residents of the spaceport had seen them carousing around and, after she had recognized who they were, asked if she could take a photo of them. Agreeing, the woman had then snapped a picture of him holding Kailan in his arms, one of her arms slung around his shoulder lightly, knowing he wouldn't drop her. He was smiling like an idiot while Kailan had her head resting on his shoulder, her face alight with laughter, her hair blanketing them both. He could still see the happiness radiating from her eyes. As soon as the picture had been taken, she'd asked the two of them to stay there while she ran off to have it developed, returning with a copy for them. The original sat beside his bed while he'd had another blown up to hang on his wall so he could feel as though she were always smiling down on him.

Sighing, he switched his gaze from the picture to the ring he held in his hand. It was a bit whimsical, as she could be when she was able to relax. A two-carat pink diamond in the shape of a heart graced a delicate band of platinum. He knew, when he bought it, that it wasn't exactly fit for a warrior's hand, but more in line for a fairy-tale princess. Kaidan was sure she would have loved it, if he'd only had the chance to ask her to be his wife. The whole evening had been planned. If the Normandy hadn't found any sign of what was causing the disappearance of the ships, they'd been scheduled for a true shore leave to begin two weeks after the day of the fateful attack. Knowing she'd always wanted to visit Seattle and see the Space Needle, he had made reservations for SkyCity, the revolving restaurant inside the city's landmark. From there they would walk down to the pier of Puget Sound, letting the sun set around them and reflect off of the water where he'd get down on one knee and propose. If that went well, which he still believed deep down that it would have, they would have left for Vancouver the next day to meet his parents and then head up to their cabin to spend the next couple of weeks alone. His plans had all gone to hell the moment that ship, beast, whatever in the hell it was, had attacked the Normandy. If he hadn't listened to her orders, if it had been the two of them to go after Joker, maybe they would have made it back to the pod in time for all three of them to make it out safely. Maybe, if the situation hadn't changed, he'd have been able to grab her before she went spiraling out of the ship. Or, maybe, he would have ended up spaced with her. That last possibility had him thinking of the pilot and the guilt the man still carried.

Tucking the ring back into its box, remembering how he'd had to sneak off during their two days on the Citadel the moment he learned of a jewelry store still in business, he continued to stare at the ring for a few moments more before snapping the lid closed.

"Kailan, I miss you so much. Knowing that it's because of you that I'm now in Special Ops training, that I'm now a Staff Commander, it makes it that much easier, yet harder, to bear. You always had more faith in me than I had in myself, saw a strength in me that I wasn't aware I had. I wish you were here to share these milestones with…"

"_I'll always be with you Kaidan, never forget that. You were my strength when I felt I would falter, my rock when I needed support, my cushion when I needed a soft place to fall. Love transcends all. We'll meet again. I promise_," he heard those words so clearly, felt the brush of ghostly lips against his, her hands squeezing his fingers, before the presence disappeared.

###

_One year later…_

"Her muscle growth is coming along nicely, as well as nerve regeneration. The body isn't rejecting the cybernetic implants nor the biotic upgrades. Brain functionality is returning to normal and her skin is slowly knitting back together. Give her another six to eight months and she should be ready for us to wake up," Wilson stated, looking quite pleased with himself.

"Thank you for your report, Wilson. Carry on," Miranda replied, her tone dismissive, as she personally went over each piece of data, comparing it to machine read-outs as well as her own knowledge. Wilson glared at her back the moment she turned away from him before returning his attention to the red-head lying on the table beside him.


	4. Awake

Packing was always such a pain in the ass. Granted, it was basic items, such as socks and underwear and other necessities, plus some casual outfits when he didn't need to be in his uniform. Even so, it was always a tiresome process and he always inevitably left something behind that he needed.

The sound system of his apartment played the music of an artist that hadn't been around in over 100 years but yet had been one of Kailan's favorites. He hummed along with the soft medieval Irish tune that filtered through the speakers, sung by a woman by the name of Loreena McKennitt. After the debacle with Carol Langley the night before, a pediatrician one of his friends from N7 training had set him up with, he felt the need to have something of Kailan's surround him. It had been their third date and the woman had wanted to see his apartment. Kaidan winced at the unflattering things that had poured out of the young doctor's lovely mouth when she had seen the picture of him and Shepard on the wall. The venom she spewed was the same he had heard everywhere ever since Kailan's death, that she must have been unstable due to her belief in the Reapers, or that Saren had somehow indoctrinated her into his way of thinking. He was quite proud that all he had done was shut the door firmly behind her, locking himself in his apartment and away from her screams of outrage that he had left her with no transportation home.

The last item in his bags, Kaidan looked around the room to make sure he hadn't left anything. Spotting the original, smaller version of the photo with him and Kailan on his bedside table, he picked it up and fit it carefully between the soft cloth of his undershirts. Satisfied that he had everything packed, Kaidan carried his bags to the front door, ready for him to leave in the morning. As more colonies on the edge of the Terminus Systems had turned up empty with no sign of attack, just a loss of people, he was off to assist the colony of Horizon with the installation of a GARDIAN defense system. At least that was the official story given to the residents. Officially Kaidan was headed there to determine if it was Cerberus or some other entity that was behind the disappearances.

"Well, Kailan, it seems as if it's time to find out how much I learned under your leadership and through my training. Hopefully I don't disappoint you or my superiors," he whispered to the empty room. His breath shaky, nerves causing a tight ball to lodge in his throat, he let out a long sigh as he prepared himself for bed. Turning the light off, Kaidan situated himself on the soft mattress and stared up at the ceiling until his eyes finally drooped and sleep swept him away.

###

"_Oh God, the pain! It's," her voice quivered, "It's beyond excruciating! Please, Kaidan, help me!" _ Kaidan's eyelids fluttered rapidly, his body tossing and turning in the sheets.

"_I should be dead. Why all this pain? What's all this medical equipment? Blue… blue eyed angel? I hope she's here to take me away. It feels like someone's trying to peel my skin away from me… it hurts so bad," Kailan's voice moaned. "Voices, whose voices? Don't know these people. Why are they torturing me? Blood pressure rising? Heart rate increasing? Numbers off? Oh, please, make it go away," she sobbed._

Kaidan shot up into a sitting position, his breathing harsh and ragged. Sweat soaked his hair and dripped down his back. Her voice had been so clear in his mind, the agony she felt strong enough he could almost touch it. It was the most vivid dream he'd had of Kailan in almost two years and his skin tingled the way it used to whenever her biotics had touched it. Glancing at the clock, he sighed and crawled out of bed. The glowing numbers declared it to be 0430 and he decided he might as well check to see how the work crews had fared the night before with the generator installation.

###

_Three months later… present day._

"Wake up, Shepard! The facility is under attack!"

Facility? What facility? Kailan knew she hadn't survived the attack on the Normandy. Flying debris had decimated the seals to her oxygen supply on her suit from the Normandy's explosion . Before her body shut itself down to try and preserve itself, Kailan had seen herself hurtling toward the planet's atmosphere. If a ship didn't enter at the correct angle, it could burn its shields from the friction and a body, especially an unconscious one, didn't have the required protection to survive such an ordeal. Was she in some sort of in-between place awaiting judgment before she was granted acceptance into Heaven or cast into Hell?

"Get out of that bed _now_, Shepard!"

She slowly opened her eyes, blinking them against the harsh light surrounding her, the sound of gunfire slowly filtering into her consciousness. She wiggled her jaw, moaning slightly at the jolt of pain she received when it popped, and the pull of skin as it flexed.

"Your scars aren't fully healed yet but I need you to move! Grab the armor and pistol from the locker near you."

"What in th' bloody hell?" Kailan muttered, swinging her legs over the side of the table, waiting until the dizziness subsided before she let herself slide to her feet. Her first few steps were clumsy as she traveled the short distance to the locker, still too dazed to put too much thought into action as she donned the armor and picked up the pistol.

"Take cover, Shepard! That canister is about to blow!"

Shaking her head to clear it, Kailan rushed on steadier footing toward a short wall, ducking behind it moments before debris rained down around her.

"Whoever ye are, this bloody pistol doesn't have a thermal clip. There's only so much biotics can do."

"It's a med bay, not an armory. Hopefully you can find something nearby. I need you to get moving, Shepard. Someone's hacking security, trying to kill you."

"Hate to break it to ye, but ye can't kill someone who's already dead," Kailan grimaced. Picking her way across the flaming bits of metal and other materials littering the floor, she found a discarded thermal clip. She checked it over quickly, noting that it wasn't empty of ammunition, and used it to reload her pistol.

"We'll get into that later. For now, see what you can do to get out of there safely. I'll try to walk you through the layout of the station as best I can."

"All right," she frowned in confusion. Muttering under her breath at the lack of a hair tie, Kailan tucked her waist length crimson curls behind her ears while fumbling with the mechanism to open the door. The moment it opened, she ducked behind a crate to shield herself from the mech shooting at her. Pulling at the dark energy swirling inside her, she lobbed it at the LOKI, and smashed it against the opposite wall in an effortless throw. She found herself flat on her ass, her sea-green eyes wide at the force that had flown out of her.

"Bloody hell!"

"L5x implants, Shepard," the voice answered.

Kailan pulled her tiny 4' 11" frame off the ground, her shoulders shaking in silent laughter. Snatching up any thermal clips she found, she hurried through the maze of corridors.

"Better watch myself then. Might find myself flying into a nasty situation until I can get the hang of this energy. I can just picture it now. Kailan Shepard to the rescue! Oops, maybe not. I just slingshot myself ten feet back!" she chuckled. She was still grinning at the hilarity of the situation when she dashed into the next room to find an actual living, breathing, human being instead of mechanical terrorists.

"Shepard?" the man said, shock lacing his voice. Tossing off another throw at one of the mechs across the way, she couldn't help but bust into a deep seated belly laugh as she almost catapulted back into the chairs behind her.

"Wow these L5x's are gonna take some getting used to," she giggled, ducking down behind the barrier for a moment and taking a deep breath, then shooting off a series of shockwaves toward the LOKIs. She sighed with relief as the power draw began to level out within her. The danger over for the moment, Kailan flopped down on the floor and pulled her knees close, leaning back against the glass banister.

"Things must be bad if Miranda has you up and running around," the man beside her stated, unsure of how to react to the pixie in front of him.

"Miranda. She must have been the voice I heard before gunfire sounded on her end and everything ended in static. Who're you and what is this place? It doesn't look like an Alliance facility."

"I'm Jacob Taylor and all I can say right now is it isn't. The Alliance declared you dead. Then again, you were just meat and tubes when you first got here so most anyone would have put you in a coffin. The Lazarus Project rebuilt you with cutting edge technology."

"Rebuilt me? Alliance declared me dead? Last thing I remember was the Normandy blowing sky high and then passing out from lack of oxygen due to compromised seals on my enviro-suit. Do ye know if anyone made it out alive?" Kailan asked, her demeanor switching to that of the Commander she had been two years prior.

"Pretty much everyone made it out alive except for Navigator Pressly and a few others. All of the non-human crew survived."

"Pressly, damn. Do ye know where everyone is now? If they knew I was alive they'd come back. They were my team, my family."

"I don't have a clue. If… when we get off this station, you can see about getting answers. For now, let's head toward the shuttle bay."

"Sounds good to me."

Kailan followed Jacob through the facility, assisting with mech removal as they tried to hurry toward someone named Wilson. The man's last transmission set off warning bells in her head as he declared himself compromised and shot but yet there was no background noise to suggest anything other than him being alone. The revelation that it was Cerberus who had funded her resurrection didn't help matters either. Barely blinking when, after using up precious medi-gel to fix Wilson's leg, Miranda shot him as they reached the escape shuttles, she sighed at the turn her life had taken. Kailan curled up on the seat across from Miranda and Jacob, watching the two of them as they settled in.

"We need to run a few tests to determine if your memories are still intact after the last two years," Miranda stated.

"Oh c'mon, Miranda! Hasn't she been through enough already?"

"If we don't get this done, the Illusive Man may consider everything a waste of time and the project a failure."

"Just do it," Kailan sighed, rubbing the heels of her palms over her eyes.

"According to our files, you grew up on Earth. Tough environment, no parents…" he trailed off as Kailan shook her head.

"Tough environment, aye, but I had a mother. Her name was Catriona Shepard and she died from a tumor due to over-exposure to eezo when I was ten."

"Why isn't that in our records?" Miranda muttered, combing through her datapad. "Just continue, Jacob."

"You enlisted and won a metal battling the batarians during the Skyllian Blitz. Do you remember that?" Jacob asked.

"Aye, I remember. People depended on me to hold the line. Lives were at stake. I did what I could to save as many as I could. It wasn't easy but somebody had t' do it," Kailan replied.

"However you wanna put it, it was damned impressive. I had friends who were there," Jacob grinned at her then turned to the woman beside him. "Satisfied, Miranda?"

"Try something a bit more recent," Miranda stated, still running furiously through her numerous notes, as well as Kailan's files, trying to find the missing piece Shepard had added to her background.

"All right. On Virmire, where you destroyed Saren's cloning facility, you left one of your own behind to die in the blast. Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams was killed in action. It was your call. Why did you leave her behind?"

"It wasn't easy. She had become one of my best friends during the entire time we were after Saren, but I had to make a choice between either going after her or keeping the person who was manning the bomb safe. If that bomb didn't go off, too many lives would have been destroyed. I made the only decision I felt would accomplish that. She gave her life for the rest of us and died a hero," Kailan sighed.

"I'm not judging your decision, Commander. Everyone at Cerberus agreed that the cloning facility had to be destroyed."

"There are other tests we should run…" Miranda began.

"Oh come off it, Miranda. Her personality and memories are there and I can vouch for her combat abilities personally."

"All right. I just hope the Illusive Man is satisfied with our little field test," the woman murmured, half turning to Jacob as they went over the data gathered from quizzing Shepard.

"Oh, girl, what have ye gotten yerself into?" she whispered as she stared out into the vast expanse of space, half listening to Miranda and Jacob in the background as they discussed her test results. Her heart sank as she realized she was now a puppet for the same organization she had tried to stop during her fight with Saren, and that she'd been gone for two years. Kaidan's face came to mind and she closed her eyes, mentally tracing every curve and angle, the strength in the bone structure that was such a lovely counterbalance to the gentleness and warmth in his eyes. She wondered how he was doing and if he still remembered her and the love they had shared.

"Is everything all right, Shepard?" Miranda's voice cut into her thoughts.

"I'm fine. It's just a lot to take in," she replied, her voice quiet. "There's much I need to get caught up on it seems."

"Understandable."

Kailan returned her gaze to the stars, feeling small for the first time in her life.

###

Kaidan watched as the last defense tower was being built. Once it was complete and the system wired together, he could begin the calibrations that would bring the entire thing online. The past three months had been hell as he had tried to gather a large enough workforce to build the underground generator required to keep the defense system powered. It was a simple colony and, while many had special skills, finding those willing to cooperate who had the knowledge he needed was difficult at best. The only reason, he was sure, that they finally banded together to begin construction on the GARDIAN was due to the belief that the quicker they got it done, the faster he'd be out of their community.

The colonists weren't happy to have him around, not buying the Alliance's stance that this was to build relations between the two entities. If they'd had the means, he was sure they would have booted him ass first into the atmosphere. The mechanic, Delan, was the worst. Kaidan couldn't get within ten feet of the man without being blamed for something going wrong. If everything was working properly, the man found something else to bitch about.

He glanced over his shoulder, catching the stares and glares of the men and women assisting with the construction of the GARDIAN. Kaidan sighed as he noticed the shy smile Lilith was giving him, not in the mood to try anything remotely resembling a relationship any time soon. She was a sweet woman, always eager to help him with whatever he needed, and often times easing the way with him and the others. While he appreciated all she was doing for him, Kaidan couldn't help but feel a bit uneasy at the attempts Lilith made to flirt with him, or the excuses she came up with to explain why she was almost constantly by his side. For that reason alone, he wished the defense system was up and running and he had the information the Alliance needed so he could leave Horizon behind.

Lifting his face to the sky, Kaidan studied the clouds. So far nothing out of the ordinary had happened in regards to his main purpose for being there. Even so, it felt as if the universe were holding its breath, waiting for something. What, he wasn't sure. His thoughts returned to the dream he'd had the previous night, wondering if it was the reason he was so on edge.

"_Wake up, Commander, the facility is under attack!"_

_Wait a minute. He's not at some facility, just sleeping on a hard cot in one of the guest cubes on Horizon. What was this?_

"_Shepard, you need to get up __**now**__!"_

_Shepard? Kailan? He couldn't remember a mission where she had been asleep on her feet. That wasn't her style. What the hell was going on?_

"_Kaidan, I'm not sure what's going on here, but the moment I find out, I'll let you know. Remember, whatever happens, I'll always love you. Good hunting, and I'll see you on the other side."_


End file.
